As I begin to branch out into the wonderful world of romance, I hear mutterings that someone would… Sabotage my attempts at doing the one thing I was never able to do save for cruel jokes and slaps to my pride.
I am not really more than annoyed by this, to be honest.
It’s a thing I should be used to, what with me never being able to succeed at anything. Right now, I struggle to bring myself to care about school anymore and while I am coming into the state of enjoying the company of my friends with some great pleasures (whereas I used to just have tolerance of all people I now honestly enjoy talking to people again), it would appear that I’m just not allowed to do anything of the sort.
I just want to exist independent of the actions of some upstart rebels. I don’t care what you have in your mind for this shitty town and the people that are stuck here with you and I. I just want to enjoy myself again.
Truth be told, I’m a sad sack of shit.
A terrible humiliating thing happened to me in high school. I’ve made reconciliation with the parties responsible that, while at the time I would scream and shout and bay for their blood, and am slowly recovering. I won’t go into details out of respect for the man who, while at times hard to understand, at least showed the maturity to approach me and apologize for it. His cohort at the time was not given the opportunity to do so until a party he and I attended, but I let sleeping monsters lie so to speak that night.
The wounds are finally scabbing over, if you want to be metaphorical.
I’m recovering. Slowly. Please just let me have this, whoever you are.
Do whatever you want to others in this shithole town. I will selfishly ask that you just let me be to succeed or fail on my own terms. I care not for your ideas of protecting me or her, just let me do what I will.
I will let you do what you will, if you just let me have the lovely pleasures I seek in peace.